"STOP processing - you people have got to stop processing!" - Baron Baptiste
What? Why? I hear people say "I'm processing this/that/him/her/etc." often, and until recently, it didn't bother me... but now, it actually concerns me when people say they are processing.
Why not "process?" Isn't it part of growing? Isn't it part of figuring this stuff out? Isn't it good to process and think? Don't throw the baby out with the processed bathwater.
What? Why? I hear people say "I'm processing this/that/him/her/etc." often, and until recently, it didn't bother me... but now, it actually concerns me when people say they are processing.
Why not "process?" Isn't it part of growing? Isn't it part of figuring this stuff out? Isn't it good to process and think? Don't throw the baby out with the processed bathwater.
Processing has a "mired in" implication. As if you are in the process - ongoing - doing - always. Is this actually healthy? What we're usually processing is something big, something bugging us, something pushing us, something "wowing" us - and are we actually doing ourselves any favors to sit in that and mire? I think no. I think that processing harms our ability to feel and I think feeling + honesty is where real growth comes from.
I love metaphors - so let me share my processing v. honestly feeling. Imagine your life as a square piece of paper. Processing is like taking a big giant red dot and putting it over your whole piece of paper. You can maybe still see the corners of the paper, but most everything else is obscured by the processing. What else are you missing in your life because you're so busy processing? What in life are you refusing yourself because you're so covered up in processing?
Now, remove the dot and look at your life, your sheet of paper, for what it is. And allow yourself to now honestly feel the feelings related to the thing you're so inclined to process. These feelings aren't all pervasive - covering your entire life - they are feelings that come and go... and sometimes contradict each other. Think of this like a series of dots - these honest feelings. Now, think of them like the beginning of a picture - a connect the dot picture. You can't see the picture with one small dot, you can't guess the picture with just a few connected dots. You have to allow the dots to appear in your life and then eventually, you connect them and see the picture. In the meantime, you didn't forget to see/feel/live the rest of your life.
STOP processing. Be willing to let your honest feelings make you feel messy and discombobulated. It's okay! We grow in messes. Be willing to come apart and don't forget to live along the way. See yourself and be the beautiful you that you are
I love metaphors - so let me share my processing v. honestly feeling. Imagine your life as a square piece of paper. Processing is like taking a big giant red dot and putting it over your whole piece of paper. You can maybe still see the corners of the paper, but most everything else is obscured by the processing. What else are you missing in your life because you're so busy processing? What in life are you refusing yourself because you're so covered up in processing?
Now, remove the dot and look at your life, your sheet of paper, for what it is. And allow yourself to now honestly feel the feelings related to the thing you're so inclined to process. These feelings aren't all pervasive - covering your entire life - they are feelings that come and go... and sometimes contradict each other. Think of this like a series of dots - these honest feelings. Now, think of them like the beginning of a picture - a connect the dot picture. You can't see the picture with one small dot, you can't guess the picture with just a few connected dots. You have to allow the dots to appear in your life and then eventually, you connect them and see the picture. In the meantime, you didn't forget to see/feel/live the rest of your life.
STOP processing. Be willing to let your honest feelings make you feel messy and discombobulated. It's okay! We grow in messes. Be willing to come apart and don't forget to live along the way. See yourself and be the beautiful you that you are
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